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name: will baker blogrollin' other sites: |
reunion
�Now that you have purified your souls by your obedience to the truth so that you have genuine mutual love, love one another deeply from the heart.� �1 Peter 1:22 This will be the short version of a very long story. It�s late, and I�m worn out with happiness. Surprises of grace can do that. Stephanie is my best friend. She and I met as juniors in high school, and took a trip to Europe together. After that trip, we have remained the best of friends. We lived together for most of our adult life. Most of the best moments of my life were moments with her. No one has ever understood me like she does; we could finish each others� sentences. In 1999, she moved away to Washington, D.C. to finish her degree at Howard University. In 2001, she was engaged to be married. The wedding was set for New Years Eve, and of course, I planned to attend. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of a relapse into drug and alcohol addiction, and so (surprise!) missed the wedding. And never called. And being a conflict-avoidant little pussy, I figured she was really mad at me, so we could never talk again. But true, deep friends�friends who really know you�are not excised from one�s life so easily. It was an aching loss. I have been thinking a lot about her lately. So, this afternoon, I drove up to my parents� house to do some laundry, since every last stitch of clothing I own was dirty. Like, when you�re down to wearing a jock strap for underwear? Yeah. Definitely laundry time. When I got up to Boerne, however, my brother and his fianc�e were there doing their laundry, which is a massive project. So I whipped out the laptop and worked on a few work-related projects until I could start my laundry, a couple of hours later. I was thinking about Stephanie, wandering around in memories as I typed. Massaging that ache of regret over losing the most amazing person I�ve ever known. The point is, if Elden & Irene hadn�t been up here doing their laundry and annoying me, I would have been gone already when�well, I�m getting ahead of myself. So the phone rings, and my mom answers. She sounds happy and surprised. She tells me to pick up the line. It�s her. It�s Stephanie. With no anger or blame, with joy and laughter and the most remarkable story of spiritual awakening I have ever heard. She�s in New York City, managing world-famous restaurants, being pals with famous chefs, living in Harlem. I have never known anyone who lived large so well. And now, living with both eyes open�dazzled by the light of God. And she tells me that she forgives me. And she tells me that she has hope and purpose. She tells me that she worries about losing the humility attendant upon the freshness of revelation. She tells me that New York is a magnificent place. That she misses my family and me. God, Stephanie, we miss you too. I miss you. I have a good life, but it�s never been the same since you left. I�ve had to learn some strong and painful lessons about being independent, and that�s all for the good, but it was hard to learn because you were always so strong. And no one has ever been able to bring me to tears of laughter like you could. I have friends who try to give me rational explanations of answers to prayer. God bless them, but I�m not buying a word of it. I wonder what their lives have been like, because I haven�t prayed for the sorts of things that can be achieved by a change in myself. �You don�t understand,� I want to tell them. �I couldn�t stop drinking!� I want to tell them, �I lost my best friend because I was drunk! So you think what you like, but I know...I know what God can do.� If you open your eyes, you see miracles raining down on the world. They are lying around like so much litter�love letters signed by God. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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