how it's gonna be
2004-07-26 : 9:48 a.m.

Okay, so the Finance Manager just gave me a copy of the Sprint bill for my company cell-phone, and it includes a $366 charge for minutes over the limit of my plan. That�s right, $366. That will have to come out of my paycheck.

So here�s how it�s gonna be:

Just because I have a cell phone doesn�t entitle you to reach me 24/7. I don�t even like cell phones for the very reason that they seem to cultivate a sense of entitlement among one�s friends and loved ones, an idea that one should be available for any phone conversation, no matter how trivial, at any and every hour.

I can�t begin to count the number of personal phone calls I receive on this cell phone Monday through Friday between 8 AM and 5 PM. Invariably, the caller asks �whatcha doing?� What, I wonder, do they imagine that I might be doing between 8 and 5 on a weekday�aside from what I do every weekday between 8 and 5? I invariably answer, �I�m working,� and they invariably say �oh� and then proceed to chat as if we were strolling in the mall.

�Working� = �LEAVE ME ALONE�

If you need to reach me for something that�s actually important, call my office line. It�s on my card, or you can look up �BEAT AIDS� in the telephone book.

Even better, EMAIL ME! I mean really, email me! I love email!

Just don�t call me. I�ve been telling people for a long, long time that I don�t even LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE. No one seems to believe me, or just think it�s funny to harass me via telephone anyway, knowing full well how harrying the sound of the damn ringer is to me.

But this clinches it. For $366, I could have gotten a new phone and an unlimited minute plan. BUT I DON�T WANT THAT.

Don�t call me to chat with me while you smoke. Don�t call me because you�re bored and want someone to talk to while you watch TV. Don�t call me before 9 PM unless it�s urgent and I can�t be reached on my office phone, my personal cell phone, or via email. If it becomes clear that you are not respecting this, I won't answer your calls.

I love you all. But really. I could have spent that money on a lot of other things.

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